Producer 1: Do we have any ideas?
Producer 2: How about this: we get her and her boyfriend drunk, set them up in a hotel room with a night vision camera and...
Producer 1: No damn it! It's already been done! We need something fresh, something new, something that will really knock the socks off of this nation's thirteen-year-old girls.
Producer 3: Well, we could set her up with a lineup of fame hungry beautiful people. Then we have them lock horns in a series of challenges, all the while they compete for her affection to avoid being eliminated and the last one standing wins.
Producer 1: Good lord... that... is... brilliant! I'm almost positive nothing like this has been done before! I want it cast, shot, packaged and aired in two weeks. Gentlemen, it looks like MTV has done it again!
At least that's how I think the idea for this show must have come about, I mean how else could anyone seriously try to pass this off as original entertainment?
The show is called "Paris Hilton's My New BFF." For those of you that don't know what BFF stands for, it means best friends forever. So basically Paris is looking for a new person to be her best friend forever, implying that she has had previous best friends forever. So exactly how many best friends does Paris Hilton have? Considering MTV's website suggests she has had eight previous BFFs, I get the impression that Paris Hilton doesn't really know what the word forever means. Which would make sense seeing as I'm almost positive her excessive use of acronyms is used to mask her inability to read or write.
"Sound it out Paris."If you weren't already aware that Paris Hilton is a self-absorbed, elitist moron then you're probably an idiot. But for those of us who have stepped outside the country for the past couple years, Paris Hilton is a ultra-wealthy airess who has been making average Americans feel smarter ever since she first stumbled and sucked (in nightvision!) her way into the spotlight.
Perhaps the greatest part of this show is that every single contenstant is a stereotype. Not only that, but most of them can be described in one or two words. We have:
Lauren: Southern Belle.
Fransisca: Latina girl. (there's always one.)
Trisha: Small town girl.
Sinsu: Asian girl. (One more for the diversity counter.)
Zui: Badass girl.
She says to the camera in her first interview: "I wanna do some crazy (CENSORED!). I don't take things too seriously. I'm sure a lot of the other girls are gonna be all uptight and (CENSORED!) though." I wish I was making this up. Plus, she has TATS! OMG LOL!!
Shelly: Moral girl.
Orch: Tranny
.
Yes. That is a dude on the left. Proceed to be deeply disturbed.
Natasha: Bronx girl.
Kayley: Wild girl.
Kiki: Daddy's girl.
Shelley: Slutty girl.
Baje: Black girl. (The last of the minorities.)
Athena: Sorority Girl.
Corrie: Bitchy girl.
Vanessa: Business girl.
Erin: Annoying girl.
Bryan: Gay dude.
Brittany: Slow girl.
Playing the role of Paris Hilton's arm candy is Benji Madden, also known as the other guy from Good Charlotte. I almost feel bad for the guy as I watch him sit there and watch Paris pretend she's important and prove again and again that her passing the 5th grade was a fluke. Not only that, but he doesn't gets a word in. I'm not sure if this is because everything he says is edited out or if he is the victim of domestic abuse.
Benji: I think she...
Paris: Shut up bitch!
Benji: Sorry honey.
One redeeming fact is that almost every woman in the show is drop dead gorgeous. Unfortunately for Paris, most of the girls are more attractive than she is. This show is about as original as store brand cereal, it's a regurgitated version of The Bachelor and somehow is less interesting. For managing to convince a generation of young girls to idolize Paris Hilton, this show gets a 2 stupid spoiled whores out of 10.
Shelly: Moral girl.
Orch: Tranny
.Yes. That is a dude on the left. Proceed to be deeply disturbed.
Natasha: Bronx girl.
Kayley: Wild girl.
Kiki: Daddy's girl.
Shelley: Slutty girl.
Baje: Black girl. (The last of the minorities.)
Athena: Sorority Girl.
Corrie: Bitchy girl.
Vanessa: Business girl.
Erin: Annoying girl.
Bryan: Gay dude.
Brittany: Slow girl.
Playing the role of Paris Hilton's arm candy is Benji Madden, also known as the other guy from Good Charlotte. I almost feel bad for the guy as I watch him sit there and watch Paris pretend she's important and prove again and again that her passing the 5th grade was a fluke. Not only that, but he doesn't gets a word in. I'm not sure if this is because everything he says is edited out or if he is the victim of domestic abuse.
Benji: I think she...Paris: Shut up bitch!
Benji: Sorry honey.
One redeeming fact is that almost every woman in the show is drop dead gorgeous. Unfortunately for Paris, most of the girls are more attractive than she is. This show is about as original as store brand cereal, it's a regurgitated version of The Bachelor and somehow is less interesting. For managing to convince a generation of young girls to idolize Paris Hilton, this show gets a 2 stupid spoiled whores out of 10.
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